I have a sister-girl, who is a First Lady, we recently had a conversation that went like this:
Her: "I think my husband may be struggling with his sexuality, I'm getting strange vibes and I'm uncomfortable with some of his associates."
Me: (Because I know this couple well, and have suspected this (Down-Low) for a while, but wanted the Lord to reveal it to her), my answer was as follows: Well Lady Cindy (name changed),I was always told, if you want to know who your children are..."CHECK THEIR FRIENDS", and this will show you who they are. In this mindset, if you want to know who your husband is, check his friends, now this can be done in more than one way, but what I suggest, in this world of social media, is to check his FaceBook friends AND Pictures. If the majority of his friends LOOK GAY, then I think you have reason to be concerned. We pick and choose our facebook friends just as we do in real life friends, and last time I checked a straight husband is not TRYING to be associated with a bunch of Gay looking men, unless, in your husbands case,being a pastor he is laying hands on them and casting out that Demon!"
Her: So do you think my husband is gay? Because I was just thinking he is metro-sexual and struggling with his identity.
Me: "Honey, metro sexual is the polite way of saying gay."
After some tears and much prayer, I shared some other things to look for in a metro, struggling with his identity, sweet, man: HERE GOES:
1.Flashiness, loud, flourescent, odd color combinations-(straight men just don't do all that)-think Gay Beautician and you will get the visual-
2. His mannerisms-If your husband looks like he is about to do 2 snaps and a twirl, when he is talking..."Then Houston, we have a problem!"
3. A lot of smacking and lip popping and tooting of the lips when he talks....unt-uh-straight men don't do THAT!
4.Excessive pampering-Now I'm all for "clean-cut" men, I think it's attractive and a way of showing excellence-BUT!..there is a thin line between routine "manly maintenance" and the "metro-sexual" maintenance, they take it to another level-a feminine one.
Now for those who read this and say, who made her the expert?, I will answer that...NOONE, but I have been privy to many a gay man in my former, pre-saved life, they were the best people to shop with and they kept my hair Sharp, my best beautician was gay, so I do know a little about a little about the tendencies of gay-down low men. AND...this was just a conversation with my sister girl, but if you or someone you know can take something from it...then please do, and if not then that's ok too!
Hey, it's all about Kingdom!, and not only was this First Lady concerned about her immediate family, but her church family as well, their church is quickly filling up with gay men, and her absolute concern is for their well-being and delivereance, but as we well know..."Baal can't cast out Baal" -(Matthew 12)...Her husband/pastor can't be a help to these men if he himself is struggling with the same spirit...
Well...we know the problem, now...The Solution:
In this lady's case, she had no prior knowledge of gay tendencies or struggling behavior with her husband before marriage or before his salvation,.. BUT!..if you know that your husband use to be gay, or use to struggle with his sexuality before salvation,... then here is my advice: "The bible says that we are our husbands help-meet, and this incurs an occassional pulling of the coat-tail. My husband and I keep each other in check and in line, because we genuinely love each other and are concerned about each other's spiritual well being, if either of us see something getting out of line, then we have made a pact to address it IN LOVE (key point).
The last thing you want to do is go accusing your husband in a demeaning way, you do, however, want to go to him, in love and wisdom, and say,..for example: "Honey, I love you, and I would like to talk to you about some concerns that I'm having, I'm noticing, this, this, and this, and I'm bringing this to your attention, because I know that this is an area that you use to struggle in, advise him, that you are not accusing him of anything, but the bible says that we should shun the very appearance of evil, and this is looking pretty out of order/evil right now.....Prayerfully this will open up a discussion and prayer will ensue, and all will be well, after some altering of behaviors.
Now, in Cindy's case, she is flabbergasted, this is one manly-man (at least in her eyes), they have several children, he is a great provider, and their sex life is good, so she is really struggling with this, she can't see how this can be, NOT HER HUSBAND-
I counsel her on spirits, and the very nature of the down low brother, the reason he is called down low is because it is on the DOWN LOW, she is not suppose to suspect anything, everything about their life is supposed to look picture perfect, that's part of the facade...adoring husband, affectionate always in public, lovely children..the whole nine, and all the time he is thinking about "him" or "them"...God Forbid!...but it happens..
Side Note:We should never take glory in the fact that we know someone is down low, or struggling with their sexual identity, the bible clearly tells us to bear the infirmities of the weak. This person may sincerely want out of this lifestyle, it's up to us to intercede on their behalf's. There are also those that know and like full well what they are doing, well we should pray for them too, pray for deliverance in Jesus Name, because either way, a life or lives hang in the balance.
Praying much for this seducing spirit that is creeping rampantly through the Body of Christ, and I hope you are as well!
Be Blessed
Lady V
